


Comatose

by yuume



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-27
Updated: 2014-02-27
Packaged: 2018-01-14 00:31:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1245964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuume/pseuds/yuume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling into a coma doesn't mean one should lose hope. Maybe…just maybe if Levi prays hard enough, he might get his happy ending</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comatose

**Author's Note:**

> ...

One year. That’s exactly 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. 

By any means it’s a long time…

However, this one year can seem like a breeze if you’re marking off each day, counting down the amount of time you have left. Dotting each box with a ‘X’ on that calendar that hung mockingly against those sickly familiar white walls.

One week left...and Levi was running out of time.

…………..

7

“..vi-san”

“Levi-san!”

The said male blinked, his train of thought derailing as he looked up at the nurse. He watched as her lips moved, probably talking more medical crap. He really found no need to pay attention, after all he heard this spiel 358 times before. So, he settled for staring absentmindedly at her. 

Resting the side of his face against his palm he noted that she looked more refreshed today. Her normally messy, stringy like hair was neatly pin up in bun. The acne scars on her face was covered by a thick layer of foundation, and her eyes seemed abnormally large. 

Was she going on a date? To a wedding? Maybe a funeral? Levi found himself musing at the endless possibilities as to why she decided to give herself a make over today.

“Do you understand, you have to make a decision soon.”

He watched as her lips stopped its up and down motion. Was she done? 

Straightening his posture he gave her a slow nod. 

“One week Levi-san.” Her tone was firm, almost stern sounding as she gave him a low bow, before turning and walking out of the room. The clacking sound of her heels dulled as the doors closed behind her.

One week...7 days...that was all the time he had left, and he wasn’t ready.

With an agitated sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose and stared over at the patient bed beside him. 

Eren

There he was. That shitty brat who was obnoxiously loud at times, and downright plain idiotic at others. But, that was all in the past. 

Right now, he was silent. His normally vibrant green eyes hidden behind those closed lids. That energetic grin was replaced by a grim line. Tubing and wiring hung out from every inch of his body, as a life support machine pumped his heart and breathed for him.

“Eren?” Levi spoke softly, as he took a quick glance at the heart rate monitor. The rhythmic green spikes and the accompanying beeps, signaled that the machine was indeed working properly. “Will these few days be the last time I hear your heart beat?”

As expected he was greeted by silence.

Reaching over he placed his hand on top of Eren’s. It was warm, but he knew that warmth was tangible. 

Tightening his grip, he knelt down beside him and placed his cheek against the back his hand. 

He needed more time….he wanted more time  
………………..

6

“Eren, today Mikasa came by.” Said Levi, as he stared down at the apple in his hands. “She said she and Armin went to the Yakushi Nyorai Buddha to pray for your health.”

The droning of beeps greeted him.

Grabbing the small pocket knife from the night stand, he slowly brought it down on the apple. Watching as the juices flowed as the knife cut down into the core.

“I don’t normally believe this supernatural crap, but it wouldn’t hurt to try right?”

Briefly looking up from the apple, Levi had a momentary flash of hope that maybe...just maybe Eren had heard him and was planning on replying.

Those false hopes were immediately slammed down when he was met with the sight of a motionless brunet.

“Eren...please wake up.” His voice came out weak as he made a small shuffle towards the bed. “I’ll do anything, please just open your eyes.”

Still no movement.

“Anything’s fine. A small eye movement? Or maybe a finger twitch.” He was starting to sound more and more desperate. “Please just anything.”

He was met with silence again. No flicker of movement...just silence.

“Fuck.” He gritted as he slammed down the small knife on the table and whipped the apple across the room. Watching as it exploded against the wall. 

The impact of the innocent fruit slamming against the wall did offer him a brief moment of serenity before it was replaced with rage again.

Fuck Buddha and fuck God.

Where were they when he needed them the most?  
……………….

5

Pushing open the large bay window in the stuffy hospital room, Levi took in a deep breath. The smell of early morning wind carried a light flowery scent. Yesterday he kinda lost his cool, but today was going to be different.

“Eren do you smell that?” He asked as he took another breath. “Doesn’t it smell like lilacs?”

Falling silent for a moment, Levi enjoyed the warm heat of the sun bask down on his face.

“I remember, you telling me lilacs were your mother’s favorite flower. That you and your father would go into the fields to pick them for her every morning in the summer. Do you remember?”

A faint smile tugged at the corner of Lev’s mouth as the image of a 9 year old Eren slightly dirty from trekking in the fields popped into his mind. He could just picture that idiot grin on his face as he presented those purple flowers to his mother.

“Eren do you remember telling me that?” He asked again as he turned away from the window. 

The rhythmic beep answered him

“I’ll bet you do remember.” He quashed down that familiar anger that was starting to surface. “You told me that on our third date.”

Walking over to the bed, he set himself down on the plastic chair beside it. Leaning over, he gently brushed aside a stray strand of brown hair.

“Eren, I…” He trailed off when he saw the corner of the bed cover slightly fluttered. 

An indescribable sense of hope filled him as he shot up from the chair. Was he waking up? 

“Eren?!”

The bed cover fluttered again. This time the edge lifted open. Half expecting to be maybe met with the sight of a foot twitch or maybe toe twitch, he was greeted with stillness. 

It was not Eren who had caused the small movement…

Just like, that feeling of hope disappeared as quickly as it came as Levi felt another bout of warm breeze hit the back of his neck.

Collapsing back against the chair, he felt his body go weak. 

Today was the day, he learned not to carry hope.  
………………  
4 

After that whole blanket incident, Levi made sure to keep the windows closed at all times, not caring if the room got too suffocating.

He couldn’t let his hopes get roused up again, by a simple fucking breeze. 

Not again.

“Eren, I’m sorry.” His voice slightly cracked, as he briefly glanced up at the boy. He seemed much paler than usual. “It’s my fault, I should have listened to you.”

The ‘krschh’ ‘krschh’ sound of the life support machine replied back.

“If I had listened you wouldn’t be in this situation.” 

It was true, if he had listened to Eren a year ago, he wouldn’t be in the hospital talking to a vegetable. 

They say life is full of regrets, and this would probably be his biggest one.

At that time he was drunk, and stupid and hubris. He knew the stories of DUI, he knew the fucking consequences of it, yet he choose to foolishly ignore it. 

Even to this day, he could hear the desperation in Eren’s voice as he begged him not to drive. Begged him, to just take a cab home. 

He didn’t listen. 

He still remembered that confident way he spoke when he pried the keys from Eren’s hands and started the ignition. He was fine. He wasn’t drunk. Eren was just worrying to much.

Gritting his teeth, Levi balled his hands into fists. “You fucking idiot, why didn’t you just knock me out, or taken a cab home yourself.” He muttered.

But of course he knew the reason why Eren didn’t do any of that. This was Eren, he trusted him with every inch of his life. He wasn’t just going to abandon Levi during his time of need. 

He trusted him in such a foolish way.

“I’m sorry, Eren.”  
…………………

3 

Time was running out.

Levi could actually count the number hours he had left.

He needed more time….no, he wanted more time

Now, he wasn’t usually an angry person. However, after a year of pent up frustration (mostly at himself) he was bound to explode sometime.

And, today just happened to be that day.

“Eren, we’re running out of time.” He placed a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder and shook. “Wake up.”

Only that annoying ‘beep’ sound from the heart rate monitor answered.

“You shitty brat!” This time he gripped both shoulder’s and shook. “Wake the fuck up! Do you really want that piece of crap breathing and pumping your fucking heart for you?”

Krschh...krschhh

“Are you so fucking weak, that a simple car crash turned you like this?!” Levi was screaming by now, not caring if the nurses heard him or if the wirings were becoming dislodged from Eren. All he fucking wanted was for the boy to open his eyes. “Wake the fuck up! You son of a bitch wake up!” He lifted his hand and brought it down across Eren’s face.

He could hear the scurrying of heels outside, but as of this moment he really didn’t care for appearance. 

“Wake up!” 

Another slap

“Wake up!!”

Another one

“WAKE UP!”

He was about to deliver another slap before it was stopped. Narrowing his eyes, he glared at the tiny hand that held his wrist in mid air.

“Levi-san stop it!” The tiny blond nurse scolded, her eyes held a certain degree of coldness to them. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

What the hell was he doing?

Pulling his hand free, he gave a small mumble of apology before storming out, slamming the door in his wake.

He couldn’t be here right now.  
………………………...  
2 

Today was the first time in this whole year, he choose not to go to the hospital. He didn’t want to go there and fucking be greeted by silent and motionless Eren.

He didn’t want to hear that annoying ‘beeping’ sound of the heart rate monitor, or that taunting ‘krschh’ sound from the life support machine, that only seem to remind him of the fact that indeed Eren wasn’t alive, and that they were the only thing sustaining him.

He didn’t want that.

Slumping down on his couch he brought the green bottle to his lips and downed the burning liquid.

It was alcohol that brought him into this whole mess, and he was going to use alcohol to end it.

“You call yourself a fucking loving God?” He stared up and cursed at the ceiling. “How is it fucking ‘loving’ if you chose to have Eren suffer the consequence that were meant for me?”

Taking another swag, he messily wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You know what, fuck you!” His voice rose. “You piece of shit who dares calls himself a God!”

As the words left his mouth, Levi wanted to laugh. Just what the fuck was he doing? Was he so desperate right now, that he was blaming a deity he didn’t even believe?

But, it felt good. Screaming right now, even if its to no one in particular, he felt relief.

“Bring Eren back!” He continue to holler at his ceiling. “Wake him up you piece celestial shit. WAKE HIM UP!!” He slammed the bottle down on the coffee table before him. The sheer force caused it to shatter in his hands.

Flinching, Levi shakily brought his hand to his face and stared at the tiny shards of glass lodged within his skin. 

A dull, mirthless laugh erupted from his mouth as he plucked the pieces of glass out. Surprisingly he felt no pain, in fact it was quite amusing watching the blood ooze out from the cuts, staining his carpet as it dribbled down.

And twisted or not, a part of him wanted to see more. So, he grabbed one of the larger pieces and brought it down on his wrist. Blood flowed out much more quickly from this cut than from the tiny lacerations on his hand.

Nothing...He felt no pain but rather a numbing sensation. 

So, he repeated the action. Laughing each time he saw the sharp edge of the glass tore through his skin.

Today, was the first time he self harmed, and like it.  
………………..

1 

1 day...24 hours...1440 minutes….86400 seconds

That was all the time he had left.

With his freshly bound wrists, he stared blankly at Eren. Feeling almost ashamed to be here, he tried his best to hide his arms. 

He could practically see the disapproving look on the brat’s face if he knew what he had done.

“Levi-san, it’s been a year and Eren showed no changes. He has minimal brain wave activity, and all of his major organs has shut down.”

“…” Levi didn’t know what to say. He knew what he had to do. He knew this is what Eren would have wanted him to do, but not a single word came out from his mouth.

Eren had always been an energetic one, so being hooked up to machines, forever bedridden, not able to move, barely able to think was probably torturous. 

“Levi-san we highly recommend that you -”

“Do it.” He cut the doctor off, as he continued to stare at Eren’s sleeping face. “Do it, pull the plug.”

He was setting Eren free.

“His heart will continue to beat for a few minutes before completely stopping.” The doctor explained as he turned off the life support machine, and flicked off the heart rate monitor.

“Okay.” Levi’s reply ran hollow, as he walked over to Eren’s side and placed his head on top of his chest. Tears clouded his vision as he listened to the dull thumps of his heart.

This will be the last time he’ll ever hear that rhythmic beat of Eren’s heart. The last time he’ll ever be able to lay his head on top of his chest and let the thumps lull him to sleep. The last time he’ll ever feel Eren’s warmth, or see his smile, or hear him say ‘I love you, Levi-san’

Today was the last of everything, he once had with Eren.

“Goodbye, Eren Jaeger”


End file.
